i suppose it was the realization of depersonalization that got me digging. you see i have never been one to take "no" for an answer, and all i was seeing was that there was "no" cure. so i determined that in order to find the answers i wanted, that i would have to find something that they hadn't yet. thankfully having DP gives you this almost superhuman power of self analyzing, and a manner of obsession that (if harnessed) can be pointed in any desired direction, thus allowing me to dig deeper and think through the barriers that have stopped so many before.
while obsessively surfing the forums one day, i came across a post by cBURT, about a sublingual B complex that had improved his DP. in turn i thought, "well hell, it can't hurt to try". so the next day i started using one. it was only a matter of days before i was noticing subtle improvements, in fact it was the first time i had noticed any improvements at all really. that same week, i had my second panic attack at work. i decided to drink a propel fitness water because in the past i had noticed drinking one had a mild calming effect. well this time it had a powerful calming effect. i couldn't understand why until i read the ingredients, in highlighted letters it said, "contains choline, necessary for healthy brain and nervous system function". when i got home i decided to research choline a little deeper. what i found was compelling enough for me to add it as a supplement. while at the supplement store, i noticed most choline was combined with inositol, i had no knowledge of inositol, but the bottle had some good things to say about it and suggested it be combined with choline, so i thought, "well shit, can't hurt to try". when i got home i decided to read up on inositol, i was blown away buy everything it could do. over the next week i noticed steady improvement, yet had this plaguing question of why, why is this working when seemingly nothing else does? it was that question that has lead me to be writing this theory to all of you.
SUBLINGUAL VITAMIN B COMPLEX - have you ever taken a B complex, then gone pee later and spelled "pig" backwards, then said funny colors. well that stuff coming out that looks like it belongs in a glow stick, is in fact most of that B complex you took. you see your stomach doesn't recognize B vitamins in such a concentrated amount, and as a safety precaution, it flushes most of it out. this is what makes "SUBLINGUAL" so ideal, it cuts the stomach out of the process and goes straight for the bloodstream. other than injections, sublingual is the most direct way to get the full benefit out of B vitamins. now to even start recovery, we need to give ourselves a tune up. the most important vitamins for overall brain function are the B vitamins. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE LOW ON B VITAMINS TO NEED THEM. the suggested B blood levels are for people who are happy and healthy, WE'RE NOT. if your brain isn't working right, you should probably intake something thats main job is to make your brain work right. all B's play an important role in brain function, anywhere from assisting in the manufacturing of neurotransmitters to regulating energy release in brain cells. now i have been very careful about how i word things with this course of treatment, but this is one thing i will say, "if you take a sublingual B complex, you WILL feel the difference".
RHODIOLA ROSEA - as a whole is an adaptogen, which means it's basic function is to stabilize the functions of the mind and body without interfering with systems that aren't malfunctioning. in testing it has shown the ability to increase serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. it has shown therapeutic benefit in anxiety, depression, OCD and chronic inescapable stress among many physical ailments as well.
L-THEANINE - directly stimulates the production of alpha brain waves, creating a state of deep relaxation and mental alertness similar to that which is achieved through meditation. it is also involved in the formation of the neurotransmitter GABA. GABA influences the levels of serotonin and dopamine, producing an ideal balance and achieving the relaxation effect. L-theanine has been shown to reduce anxiety, depression, OCD, stress and increase mental clarity, alertness, memory and learning ability.
CHOLINE - is a precursor for the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which is associated with the central nervous system in the areas of memory and learning. among many other functions it is also supplemented to Alzheimers patients to stem off and in some cases reverse cognitive decline. it's use in this treatment will be to improve memory and learning ability. it will be a temporary use, only to be used until desired affect is achieved. this should take around one month.
INOSITOL - has been widely studied and utilized for therapeutic purposes. it's functions include (but are not limited to) nerve guidance, concentration control, cell membrane maintenance, and serotonin activity stimulation. inositol is necessary for a healthy functioning nervous system, it has shown therapeutic use in anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorders, agoraphobia, depression, ADD, diabetic neuropathy, bipolar disorder, and bulimia. while you may not fit into everyone of those categories, with depersonalization you probably fit into more than one. which suggest that inositol would have therapeutic use for DP.
BETA BRAIN WAVES - are the brain waves responsible for the way your brain worked before you had DP/DR. they are what are in affect when you are awake. i have found (especially in my case) that an overproduction of beta waves is partially responsible for DP/DR. too much beta activity can cause anxiety, stress, paranoia, muscle tension, high blood pressure, obsessive compulsive thoughts, insomnia and addictive behavior. l-theanine will help alleviate the over activity of beta brain waves by increasing the activity of alpha brain waves.
ALPHA BRAIN WAVES - are the brain waves responsible for a calm and relaxing state of mind. an alpha brain wave state will relax mind/body, access creativity, enhance problem solving ability, produce calm and centered emotions, increase athletic performance, induce positive thinking, produce natural flow, heightened learning ability, improve immune system, reduce fear, tension, stress, nervousness and anxiety, and the big one, ability to increase sense of self/self awareness.
SEROTONIN - is a neurotransmitter that regulates many functions in the central nervous system such as appetite, muscle contraction, sleep, mood, and cognitive functions such as memory and learning. too little serotonin can result in depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive behavior/thought, uncontrolled repetitive thoughts, suicidal thoughts/behavior, agoraphobia, irritability/anger, sleep disorders, addictive behavior, loss of confidence etc. insufficient serotonin can be genetic or result from lifestyle. some things that lower serotonin are stress, excessive caffeine use, excessive alcohol, marijuana and amphetamine use, inadequate sunlight exposure. vitamin deficiencies that lower serotonin include iron, calcium, magnesium, zinc, vitamin C, B3, B6 and folate.
DOPAMINE - is a neurotransmitter that controls the flow of information in the brain, primarily pertaining to movement, pleasure, motivation, and cognitive function. a lack of dopamine activity results in reduced ability to feel pleasure, apathy, lack of enthusiasm, depression, lack of motivation, loss of interest, lack of urgency/procrastination, lack of attention span/concentration, slow learning, lack of libido, craving uppers, introverted/shyness, mentally and physically fatigued easily, prone to addictions, oversleep/trouble getting out of bed, gain weight easily, and family history of alcoholism/ADD/ADHD. things that can decrease dopamine's natural level are STRESS, specific antidepressants, cocaine, amphetamines, poor nutrition, poor sleep habits, alcohol, caffeine, and sugar. vitamin deficiency's that can decrease dopamine are C, D, B6, B12 and zinc.
MY THEORY - given this background information, and the specific relevance to depersonalization, i have determined that my depersonalization (and likely, many others) was directly caused by an lack of serotonin and dopamine activity, and an increase in beta brain wave activity. i was setting myself up for this fall for a while, drinking a pot of coffee a day, smoking a pack a day, binge drinking every weekend, and being under chronic stress from my job and relationship was tearing my serotonin and dopamine to shreds. i didn't see it coming because i was perpetuating a dopamine high by constantly stimulating dopamine with uppers, but one day there wasn't enough dopamine to stimulate anymore and i crashed hard.
MY TREATMENT - the intent of this treatment is to eradicate all underlying symptoms of DP/DR by regulating dopamine and serotonin function and decreasing beta brain wave activity while increasing alpha brain wave activity. for anyone who feels that their DP/DR has any relation to stress, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, OCD or all of the above. this treatment will work. if you are like me before DP/DR you didn't have any of these symptoms, but since DP/DR you have one or all of these symptoms. now if we take all of these symptoms out of the picture then there is nothing left for DP/DR to thrive on. gradually things will start to clear up, you'll start to feel anxiety lift, your obsession with getting better will start to fade, you will notice your mind working the way it used to, your memories will start to come back including ones that you've created since DP/DR that you didn't even know you had, then you will notice flashes of reality, you will start to connect at times involuntarily, it will happen more and more often until you can do it at will, you will reach a point of half connected half disconnected and the connection will get stronger until you are connected almost didn't even realize it. it will happen naturally and gradually. in one to three months you will recover from DP/DR.
CONCLUSION - i want to make it clear that i don't know that this will work for everyone as i have not tested this on everyone. but i am confident that everyone with a similar case to mine will have a similar recovery to mine. the diagnoses, treatment and recovery are all in agreement. i targeted what i believed to be the problems, applied a treatment to rectify them and recovered. i am not finished with my treatment, i am only 99.9% recovered. so hopefully i'm not jumping the gun here by posting this, but i don't want to keep you guys waiting, because even if you all don't recover 100%, i know you will definitely feel a larger benefit from this than any drug or therapist you've tried yet.
THE INGREDIENTS - to start
l-theanine - 200 mg
rhodiola rosea - 250 mg (3% rosavin, 1% salidroside)
choline - 500 mg
inositol - 1,000 mg - 2,000 mg
sublingual B complex - containing at least - B2, B3, B5, B6, B12
folic acid (B9) - 800 mcg
thiamine (B1) - 100 mg
magnesium - 500 mg
iron - 18 mg
calcium - 1 g
vitamin D - 400 iu (international units)
vitamin C - 1 g
omega 3 - (fish body oil - 1 g, EPA -300 mg, DHA - 200 mg)
THIS IS MY GIFT TO THE DEPERSONALIZED COMMUNITY. it has truly become a labor of love. i will continue to seek out answers until there is one for every question. below are a few links used as reference, no, wikipedia is not my main source, just where i got started. for any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to PM me. for anyone who decides to try this formula, please send me a personal message so that i can give you my e-mail. Dr. Sierra has asked me to log individual therapeutic benefit for everyone who tries this. if enough people benefit, he will submit it for clinical testing.
SPECIAL THANKS - first and foremost, i want to think GOD for his guidance and answer to prayer in my search for answers and recovery. i understand that not everyone shares this sentiment but i never would have found this treatment without him leading me to it. i would also like to thank my family for their endless support and prayer through this journey/battle. i would like to thank every member of this community for being here for me when i needed you, your help and support was crucial for my recovery and without you guys i never would have had the drive to find the answers that i have. i could have given up at times for myself, but i could not and will not give up on all of you.
BOOK - The Craving Brain - Ronald A. Ruden, M.D., ph.D.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine_reuptake_inhibitor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin
http://www.nutritional-healing.com.au/content/articles-content.php?heading=Serotonin%20deficiency
http://www.vitamins-supplements.org/hormones/dopamine.php
http://www.houseofnutrition.com/cholin.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choline
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B_vitamins
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200407/vitamins-busy-bs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublingual_administration
http://www.mcmanweb.com/dopamine.html
http://www.nutritional-healing.com.au/content/articles-content.php?heading=Dopamine%20deficiency
http://www.web-us.com/brainwavesfunction.htm
http://www.brainwavesblog.com/alpha-brain-waves/
http://www.brainwavesblog.com/beta-brain-waves-information/
